Hi friends.... if anyone bothers to even visit this... haha

I've moved on to a new blog.

Http://mylilcornerofdworld.wordpress.com

I think this blog highly signified my college existence. I think it's time to move on and start anew. I'm keeping this blog on though. So my college memories can still live on in cyberspace. :)

Signing Off here... :)

I'm still in this grieving stage where all I can think of is Ate. Before I sleep, when I wake up, when I go to work, when eating….she's on my mind every second of every day ever since she's been gone. Like I tell people, I guess I'm still in a state of shock and denial even after 2 weeks have past. It still feels like there's this giant elephant on my chest… it's like there are still a ton of emotions to let out. I know I haven't full cried it all out yet so there's bound to be a moment in the near future where I'd be blubbering non-stop again. Yeah cuz, pathetic isn't it. Nakakamiss ka kasi eh. Biglaan ka naman eh. Di man lang kita na HUG ng husto. Haaay.

Almost everyday since I went back to work last Monday I can't help but be reminded of her whenever I get off the FX since People Support(where she worked) is right next to GT(where I work) and then I get all emotionally worked up again and end up splurging on Starbuck's Tall Iced White Mocha Americano. One of the many legacies she'd left and thought me to love. She had a love for anything iced and that coffee drink was one of her recommendations. They say I should stop doing things that remind me of her, or that make me miss her…. But I don't want to stop. I do it because I miss her and want to preserve the memory of her. I chose to live at their house ever since the wake because her ashes are still at their home by the altar. Even if it sounds a bit morbid, I want to be closer to her. She's probably laughing at me right now for being a bit pathetic and cheesy or whatever but I can't help it. Naguguilty din ako kasi while she was in the hospital I didn't visit her as often as I could have. I could have skipped outings and nights out to be with her… No one saw this coming. We all knew she was going to be ok. As in. She really looked like she was on the road to recovery from her DVT. Even after having a CT scan, multiple blood transfusions, the liquid drained from her lungs and a biopsy, she looked fine. I stayed one night to watch over her and she didn't even need my help much because she was almost normal and ready to go home.

I don't know. There's just too much to think of and the more I keep writing the more lonely and painful it's gonna get. So i'll just stop now and continue on at a better time.

It's back to a busy week my friends!

Lets start off with how low batt, low energy drained I've been today. I think I should further add to the roster of things I've been doing to boost my energy levels up. I have this philosophy that:
The more things I do = the more energy I have!
Seriously! When I was gyming, working job 1 and job 2 all in one day I was more of at the top of my game! Same goes for when I was in school. It's kind of fulfilling as well knowing you've managed to make the most out of each day. Thus, I'll go back to doing that. I've committed to GYM as much as possible, continue on with my day job, and follow through on my night job everyday unless it's just physically impossible. :)

Here's to me! The Blur for now! hehe... I refuse to rest!

There's just miles to go before I sleep! :)

Ok my last blog entry was harsh..
but then what's a blog good for other than to let off steam huh?

Anyways...moving on..

I think I'm doing too many things again..owel..here's a random entry of random stuff again..

Subway's BMT Sandwich...
So I decided to go healthy and treat myself to a subway sandwich.. there was something quite intriguing about the BMT Sandwich so my officemates and I started coming up with all sorts of combos - Bacon, Mushroom, Tomato? Bacon, Mustard, Tomato? Beef, Meet, Taco? -- but then guess what it really stood for? -Brooklyn-Manhattan Transit. Get it? A Subway Sandwich special! Hahaha! What a Kick! But then what the heck did the name have in relation to the multi-meat sliced sandwich? Bunch of salami, mortadela and ham cuts all in one.

Naughty with my Coffee
Apparently, there's somekinda promo going on with delifrance. Just give them that as the password to the Coffee of the Day and u get a free spiked watever. Hell, I'll do anything for an on-the-house drink.

Pygmalion....what?
So it's official...I don't really like watching plays. I thought I did...but it's just full of hidden meanings and different interpretations and stuff. I'm a happy ending freak. Chick flicks and musicals. That's me. I don't do read-between-the-lines, make ur brain hurt, reality stuff. I watch some independent films, I read some deep lit, I like documentary shows every once in a while... but then just sometimes. Owel. Debbie's cuz was in it and the cast was really good. Although honestly...I didn't get half of what it was about. I think I didnt subtitles...the script was so "english accented" and "Fast paced" that it was hard to keep up. I have a really short attention span too. ANyways, kudos to the cast. I have a great respect for theater people. It's a dying art and I admire the discipline these people have for show. It's my frustration to be in one... I think I'm just to shy kasi. Haay.. well I'll brainwash my kid into being one and then be a pathetic stage mom. haha

Gone too soon
Well I have a habit of reading CNN.com every morning and just the other morning I caught an article about the untimely death of a young 22 year senior UNC student Eve Carson. I then googled and facebooked her and found a lot of write ups about her...

"While at UNC-Chapel Hill, she was extremely active in both leadership and service roles. As student body president, she was also a member of the UNC-Chapel Hill Board of Trustees. She served as co-president of the Honors Program Student Executive Board and as a member of the Committee on Scholarships, Awards and Student Aide; the Academic Advising Program; and the Chancellor's committee for University Teaching Awards.

Teaching and working with children were key service interests for Eve. In 2006, she taught science at Frank Porter Graham Elementary School in Chapel Hill as part of UNC's INSPIRE program, whose mission is to encourage young students to pursue science as an interest. In her junior year, Carson was a tutor at Githens Middle School in Durham. She was also an assistant coach in the Girls on the Run of the Triangle, a character development program for girls ages 8-12 that uses running to teach values and a sense of self."

She was the perfect daughter, student etc.... She was smart, pretty- the complete package.

Then, you hear of her death. A tragic one. Her body was just found somewhere... she had been gun downed. A bright light with so much promise, so much ahead of her.. gone.. too..soon.

Life is so short.  She died so young. I don't know what to think of that. But it's amazing how she left this world... .she did so much and made the most of her short 22 years. To go like that is tragic of course, but to leave a legacy... I'm sure her schools and all the people who knew her will honor her and remember her for all that she's done forever.

That brings me to Jay Tan, Speed's first president and founding member. He passed away just recently too. He was on his road to recovery from a successful kidney transplant but then he caught pnemonia and his body just couldnt take it. :( Another person, so jolly, so full of life....gone..too..soon. Jay left a big legacy and touched many lives as well. If it wasnt for him, they're be know Speed. Ateneo Speed is the society he founded that caters to special kids. It's in it's 15th year and it's grown bigger and better since it's earlier days. I met my favorite college buddies there. I had so many fun memories with that org. It has helped touch many special kids and their families lives, our lives... Jay...you did it. Thanks man! ;)

I don't want to go yet. Not without having yet accomplished much. I feel like my purpose or mission is still out there. I want to help a lot of people too. Do a lot of things.... most especially for my family first and then of course for the rest of the world. Lord, help me get to those dreams. Protect and keep me here long enough to attain them. :)

Beauty Day
I bonded with my cousins last wednesday. Japanese food. Holistic Massages. Body Jam gym sessions, Steam baths, Jabee breakfast. Coffeebean turtle pie. All for free. Yeah...I love ate seksi and ate saucy. They spoil me to death.

Ibang Lebel..
Yup..figure it out. I can't believe people will go to great heights to tease u about someone..even if there really is nothing there. Hahaha. It's funny though. I want to see what happens next or how far this thing goes. Just wait for my next entries if there are any developments on that front. haha


The Blur...
I thought I'd never see this weekend through. I had like dozens of appointments to go too. Good Thing it's all over. I think I"m more stressed on weekends than I am on normal days. Geesh!
Well back to a new week. Hurrah!

Right now, I'm semi ok. I was far from ok a few hours ago though. I think if i'd never found an outlet for my steam and irateness I'd probably still be boiling mad. Thank God for my favorite TV shows and my ever so dependable blair bitch cousin to hear me out! Go ate Saucy! No one in the world understands us huh?!! :)

Anyways, I'd just like to start out by saying I'm not a brat! Infact, if need be, go ask a bunch of people who I'm close to about what they think of me. I'm like one of the nicest people out there ok! Yeah....screw modesty! I am! Or at least I think I am! Hell, I'd do anything for my friends...even if I think they're my friends..and they just see me as someone they can use or whatever when need be. I care more for everyone else than I care for myself! I make sure people aren't hassled by certain circumstances! I rarely ask for favors! I try to be there whenever you need me. Same goes for family! And all I ask is a little attention, a little "real" concern, genuine care come my way. Is that too much to ask! After all I am the only girl in the family! At least have the decency to help me out at times!

Rant Grace! Go Grace! Rant Grace!

I am the only girl. I am the eldest kid. Yeah sure I was beaten less, I was punished less. I got all the new books growing up. I got all that I wanted growing up. And as the cliche goes "I was the apple of my folks eyes." I was semi spoiled. Yeah those were the days eh! What ever happened...

But still, I was a good kid. I got straight A's in Highschool. I was always the goody two shoes amongst my circle group. I respected my elders. I was my teachers pet. I got into a good college. Parent's would compare me to my peers as one of the kid's they'd like their kids to take after. Well then, what have I done wrong?!

Am I not good enough!?

Rant No.1
How come I keep coming out as the bad guy here? I didn't take up nursing so that's one of the number one cases against me. Look at jemilyn, look at jill..... they took up nursing. Why didn't you take that up? Please..... I've already graduated college, do I have to hear about this now?! ShhhhsH Please! Isn't it enough that you have one child who's following that path! Let him go live those dreams you so wished for me. Don't rub all this on my face!

Rant No. 2
So I come home late. Hey, I leave the office late. It takes1.5-2 hrs to get home from Makati. So even if I leave at 730....I'll still be in by 9ish at the earliest! Besides, If you're soooo effing concerned about my safety...then why not bother picking me up... ok hold it...that's too expensive to go all the way to makati everyday, how about by the gate of the village so I wouldn't have to wait for a trike to be available in the dark? No? Too late for you? Fine then where's the problem here. I'm still at risk to whatever dangers that lurk about whether I come in early or late.

There's some psycho maniac on the lose. So how can I protect myself? It's the same thing...he walks by night... I get home at night? So what can I do? Earlier or later it's still night...

Today I asked for one small favor. I was carrying a lot of food and other baggage from the road trip to bulacan with some friends. It was fiesta over there so debbie's mom gave us more food to take home. All I ask, (and I don't ask much) is for either of the highly capable boys at home aka my dad or my brother, to pick me up at katipunan ( a measely 30min ride from home) so I won't have to endure lugging around all these plastic bags home. Besides, I was tired and it's so bulky and difficult to switch from puv to puv.

The first excuse i get was:
"Wait, I'll have to ask persmission from Dad"
-- So your only sister/daughter needs a little rescuing here and so you'll think about it first? fine! I'll wait. Let me know when I can let down my hair people!
--Ok. so the green signal has been turned on! Goody. Pick me up at 711 by 9pm. Oh wait..here comes excuse number two
"I can't pick u up...I have no sticker for the car"
-- huh?! still not getting it hun?
"No sticker for the car means the guards will get mad and not let me in"
-- Seriously? are you telling me that you won't pick me up coz some stupid guard won't let u in the village? what about face value? what about the rest of the days that you've been going in and out of the fucking village without a fucking sticker? Huh?! Seriously! Is this the story you're planning to stick with?
"Yes"
-- Ok Gudbye then! *Click cancel on cellphone* Thanks for the fucking concern.
Apparently i'm worth less than an unpaid car sticker. You have ur fucking chevy and ur fucking sleep. I'll just find my own way home. Hey if I do happen to run into some bad guys on the way we'll probably do a happy dance on the way home.

I'm sorry. But I'm just so pissed. When I put down the phone I could've sworn there was smoke coming out of my nostrils and ears.

I just need a little care! Genuine care. Not just the phrase "be home early don't let the bad guys catch you!" If I have a bootcamp the next day and have to be at the meeting place at 4am, give me a ride. Or at least offer. I can commute on my own coz I'm strong and brave. But, I need some concern shown my way. How come ate ganda doesn't get that treatment from her dad/brothers. Heck, when I used to live with them I was barely allowed to commute too. And given the wee hours of the morning or late nights, I get to play the "im a girl so protect me card."

Ugh! It's times like this..that....argh! Stop it! Calm down grace. This will pass!

Rant No 3
Nag Ateneo ka nga pero wala naman nangyari sa buhay mo bata ka!
--I JUST GRADUATED LAST MARCH DAMN IT! Give me a break. It's too early to judge what I am, what I do. I do make 0.0001% of what you use to earn but I'm making my way up. This is the beginning! Let me prove myself.

Rant No 4
"Yang anak mo. Ang laki laki nang ginagastos sa gym.Wala naman nangyayari. Kain naman ng kain. "
--Have you seen me eat much? You're always in bed when I get home. And I leave the house before breakfast is even made. When have you seen me doing my "kain ng kain." Seriously. I don't look like i'm losing weight...but I sure am burning a hole in my sweat pants trying. I don't get up as early as 5am to gym from 6-8 for nothing.

Yeah obviously all my rants are towards my dad and brother. But I can't help it! The situation is just so hostile at home. I can't help but feel that they're just being so stubborn and self fish! They don't know it coz they have their rights and their pride. But they're hurting me! If i'm hurting them with my behavior...well I'm sorry... but I deserve some respect too. I haven't done anything wrong. Give me a break. I  may have made some bad decisions, played my cards wrong in some areas.... but I still deserve the unconditional love and concern you can give to a daughter or a sister. Ah watever! Bahala na!

 If it wasn't for my youngest brother kind of giving me all the love I need to make up for the other two I'd probably have run away from home...to my tita's house lang of course...but at least there i'm more understood. And there is some concern. I miss my mom! Shet how I miss my mom! :(

So at the end of this...yeah...I'm a brat! I want some things....but maybe coz I never got those things... I give and give....where's the fucking take part. I thought there's always an equal and opposite reaction to things...or do I go screw the guy who claimed that!

AH fuck this. I'll be better in the morning! Goodnight world!

Tang Ina Im Single Day? Haha. Well if you think about it... it's really not that bad. Especially if you've never experienced going on a vdate ever in ur 22 year existence. haha. So no loss really. What's annoying are the nice nice chocolates and the really cool gifts people get..and it's not even Christmas. Just while waiting in the FX some woman comes walking along carrying a HUUUGE Teddy Bear. Yes flaunt it sister! Then at work some people got big big bouquets. Women are actually pampered on this day. What kind of women? The lucky kind? Yeah. well.. that's that. Anyways, to end this vday entry my office mates did something suhweet. The boys got the girls roses. And there was pizza and cake. Nice! So Vday isn't just for the lovey doveys. We can have fun too. Anyways, the concept was to go meet in the middle and receive the flower while the guy says some cheesy quote. My really "mabait" team mates "randomly" paired me up with another office mate who ( I have no idea why) they keep teasing me about. Haha. Well, it's the thought that counts boys. I use to receive flowers from my org mates in college. It's a good thing this tradition still stands, even if it's a different environment now, with different people. :)

Yeah no high or low for me today. Just a bunch of random tidbits...

blah blah blah

OK this day is full of stuff. Well, it was the same old usual stuff except that I met up with Sel again for our weekly bonding session (hmm... bagong tuesday tradition na ba to? We gymed together last week naman) It's so great to have someone who's just there to call whenever for whatever. Hehe. Here are just some thoughts that crossed my mind today..be it during the kimchi or cappuccino moments with Sel... during the ride to and from work...or the busy busyhan sa opis....it's so random so that try figuring out the logic behind it... it's just me dumping stuff from this big bag of weird that I call my brain. haha

- If I get a tattoo it'll be probably one of a purple dog. I dunno..I'm obsessed with the color purple. Doh! And I think dog's are loyal, friendly, sweet creatures. They can be makulit, bitchy and annoying too... I think dogs are the closest animals that may resemble me. Either that or I'm just looking for some logical explanation as to why I want a purple dog tattoo.

- Vday. Single Awareness Day? Samahan ng mga sawi sa pagibig? Haha. Another pathetic loveful day for someone. Nope, not me. I was always the bridge, the eternal third wheel...heck...fifth wheel even. How pathetic.  The only time i've ever received flowers was when it was given as a "Thing" for vday. Me and just about all the girls in the org got one for Vday for I think 2 years in a row? I got a Lily one year and a Rose the next.  In fact, I can actually enumerated the number of times I've ever received flowers. Apart from the Vday one, another time would be Blue roast...U get one at the entrance, a Blue Rose (and no I didn't give mine to anyone or get one from a crush or watever)... another one was actually the sweetest gesture anyone has ever done...I received like a box of yellow roses in the mail from Friendster....but alas.. from a Gurlpal. One of my great friends from Bahrain, Winona, sent it out. Some people can be really thoughtful....with a big paycheck may i add. haha. Owel. I will get a boyfriend. My life's been always the friend and never the girl friend. I was a wall flower. I got the pity dance. Heck I can't even accept compliments anymore. Well... it's getting too pathetic. Like I told a friend earlier... "I'm working on it." I refuse to stay this pathetic forever. Anyways...I've babble quite enough... I'm working on loving myself first....then i'll share the love. So boys..u just wait. Hahaah :)

- Ruby's Day Care Center. Nuff Said! Apparently my cubicle at work is so cutsie..with all cute colorful  McBears stuck on the whiteboard that it looks like a kiddie play area. Haha.

- I want to be rich. Why wasn't I a trump? a rockerfeller? a hilton? oh...right....I'm a filipina. Hahaha! Ayala then? Whoops...spanish. Ok fine!

- I just got my assess outcome review today. Apparently, one of my low points is my unintentional sleeping habits. Seriously, it's a sickness. I dunno but I'm just really got a falling asleep....Anywhere! It's scary. I can go from Alert to Asleep in 0.2 secs. I sometimes miss my drop off stop when riding in the FX. I can fall asleep while people are belting out "Don't wanna miss a thing" on the videoke machine. I can actually fall asleep while singing with the magic mic. I've even dozed on staring at the pc. (picture ur position reading this entry right now..with ur hand on the mouse..only...I had my eyes clothes) At work i'm know as miss sleepyhead (well that's not my nickname..that's a different story for a different day). My team mate has loads of blackmail moments to make a movie with. Ok that exaj...but you get the point. Haha. Well, going back to the review. I'm actually improving though. Gyming first thing in the morning can actually keep u awake the whole day. So keep up the gym thing. And guzzle down loads of coffee with ur oxygen. I think that'll do the trick. :)

- I like Polland's Chinese Lumpia. I'm so addicted I dream of it. Haha.

- I just watched the Insider. They showed how Heath Ledger was given a sunset funeral by the beach in Australia. Everyone took a dip before facing the sunset and waving and cheering goodbye as the boat with his body was given a memorable send off. Gone to soon. Heath... I loved you since "10 things". That was actually the time (in junior high) when I decided..hmmm..I actually see him as my dream guy...well...and I was julia stiles of course... Haha. You led a great life. You squeezed the most out of what life had to offer. It showed in all the different roles you played. As cheesy as this sounds and as cliche..."You're an inspiration." :) Thanks for everything. Life is so short. Haaay... it's no doubt each day should really be lived to it's fullest. I have a mundane job(that I like naman) and I lead a monotonous existence... so what better time to wake up and say "WTH, You only live once! Carpe Diem!" I shall start tomorrow..haha.  Anyways, back to the topic of the funeral... I probably should tell this to someone coz i doubt people stop by the blog anymore....(it was defunct for quite a number of months...a year even?!)...when I die (which I hope won't be for about a million years..haha) I think a beach party send off would be nice. With everyone wearing something purple or white. (no black). Purple signifies mourning too anyways. And it's my fav color. Plus, "Amazing Grace" should be sung. It's a must! Come on people...didn't I teach u anything. haha. Well this is getting too morbid. I think that'll do for now.

- Diet Drinks make you fat. Yeah. I read it in Yahoo news. Yes that's credible. I'll look it up again. Neah I'm too lazy..You look it up!

- I think Matthew Perry and Lauren Graham should be together. Heck they are. They're friends. But come on people....why not kick "we're just friends" up a notch. It'll make every crazy-internet-people's dreams come true. (for you non gilmore fans out there...it's time to be one or you'll never relate).

- I'd really be hurt (as in somebody kill me I'm so sensitive) if I knew someone was calling me a user or an opportunist. I go out of my way to help people and I love my friends, sometimes I'm even too kind or generous to a fault.... so thinking of me as using u for something or to get to something is just a low blow. I think it's the worst insult or whatever to have someone even insinuate that about me. Just a thought. So far the only opposite or foul comment I ever had was some PSB folk in highschool call be a BITCH. I actually liked it though. I was such a goody two shoes. Lets have a different caption under my name for a change.

- We're Adults!!! When did that happen? And how do we make it stop? :((  22. You're at such a low point at 22. It's a freaky age. I wish you all the best getting through this age. I still have no idea what I'm doing..where I'm going... Haha! Another topic to elaborate upon for another day.

- Tikoy! Belated Kung Hei Fat Choi

See...everything's so random. Don't mind me. I think I've exhausted myself just writing this entry. I'll go put myself to sleep now. 

Highs

Hmm.... I don't think I have a high. I have all these anxiety issues though.

Lows

Please Sir, I want some more...

I want rice. I'm craving for it. I want chocolate. I worship it. I have to lose 34 pounds. I hate it. Haaay. What to do when you want to look perfect. Screw all you damn beauty magazines.

1) Some random girl comes up to you and says "Hey, what's your name?". You say?
Uhm..Grace? (somehow..thanks to college I'm forever Grace)

2) What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
MILK TEA

3) What does your last text message say?
On my way. San kita puntahan? :) 15 mins (c/o ericka)

4) The last song you listened to? Hmmm...... I honestly can't recall.

5) If you hated someone and got put in charge of their funeral music, what would it be?
The Lion Sleeps Tonight Lyrics (haha..)

6) Where is your best friend right now?
I think at work. Or having lunch at rockwell..i've no clue.

7) What did you do yesterday?
Went to work, Went to Ateneo for MISA Career Awareness Week, Heard mass for ash wed at Gesu, Went the new starbucks at petron katips to tambay with ericka.

8) Pick a scar on your body - what did you do?
Right Shin. Scratched like i've never scratched before. (with jeans on) Yes..."denim burn" ouchy!

9) What teacher have you hated most and why?
Oh that fag fil teach. I won't give his name out but he deserves to Die. Ok maybe not... but I'll get my revenge! It's actually a toss between him and my stat teach. Also I gay and annoying guy. Nothing against their gender orientation....I just HATE THEM!

12.) What do you really think happened to steve on blues clues?
I don't know...he just got a letter? And wondered who it was from?

14.) Who is your most religious friend?
Ivy.

15) Who do you trust with your life?
I think family. Immediate and Extended.

16) If you could change your name to anything what would it be?
I have so many I have no idea what I prefer so changing it's also a headache.

17) What would you say if someone told you you were the most beautiful person in the world and they would do anything to wake up next to you every morning?
seriously? SERIOUSLY!?! (think izzie stevens in greys anatomy)

18) What do you hate about your school?
College? No aircon. There are more but I won't dwell on them now.

20) Do you trust all of your friends?
No.

21) Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Maybe. It depends..

22.) Have you ever talked on the phone while in the shower?
In the bathtub yes. Shower. no

23) Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
Disrespect.
Abuse.

24) Which one of your friends do you think would make the best prostitute?
Haha. Bka maoffend eh. Pero I have someone in mind.

25) Are you afraid of falling in love?
Yes. I'm afraid of it. Love that is. haha

26) Is there someone that popped in your mind after that question?
Weird..but no. I'm just not looking.

27) Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
Of course not.

29) Fill in the blank. I love____
hot steamy baths!

30) What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Lose 36 pounds.

31) If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
I'll want my mommy! haha

32) How many kids do you want to have?
THREE! I want baby girls more than anything though.

33) Would you make a good parent?
Actually... I still have got some growing up to do. So maybe at this point ..No.

34) Where was your default picture taken?
Graduation Day at the Ateneo High school lawns where we camwhored before the Graduation Walk.

35) What is your middle name?
Villarama (no i'm not related to Donita Rose's in laws)

36) Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
I have one week left before payday and Im broke. Dead broke.

37) If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I'm thinking.... I could have studied somewhere else.... I lurved Ateneo and all... but I could have done the college thing somewhere abroad considering I did do well with my O Levels.

38) Shoe size?
8.5 thats 39 or 40

39) What are you wearing right now?
Black slacks, 1 inch heels, purple sequined blouse with my favorite grey sweater.

40) Righty or Lefty?
Righty

41) Can you make a dollar in change right now?
UHm... no.

43) Favorite jeans?
It's from Bayo. It has no pockets. It's long. It's faded. Best worn with big heels.

44) Favorite animal?
Dogs. Puppies actually.

45) Favorite juice?
Green tea. Wait that's not a juice. Hmm.. Orange. The bitter kind.

46) Have you had the chicken pox?
Uhuh!

47) Have you had a sore throat?
Uhuh!

48) Ever had plastic surgery?
Nu-oh!

49) Who knows you the best?
Of everyone I know? I think my cuzn Ate Mie. :)

50) Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
NONE! I've got my eyes lasered baby! I have a 20/15 vision! Which is above normal! Better than normal! I've got a freaking rocking eye sight! wooohoo!

51) Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Scotch? Hmmm...not really. Do u call pulling ur slippers away from him fighting?!

52) Been to Mexico?
No.

53) Did you buy something yesterday?
One short skinny white mocha americano

54) Did you get sick today?
No.

55) Did you miss anyone today?
My mom! :(  She usually waits on me before I go to work and she's my favorite person to talk to and kiss gudbye in the mornings. She left for Bahrain again so...haaay.

56) Did you get in a fight with someone today?
No.

57) When is the last time you liked someone?
Crushing?! Hmm...yesterday.

58) Last person to lay in your bed?
Aside from me? Mama.

59) Last person to see you cry?
Koi and Barry. It was while catching the LRT2. Mukha akong heart broken or nawawalang bata.

60) Who/what made you cry?
It was not really an emotional cry. More like I wouldnt stop crying because of my irritated eyes.

62) What are your plans for the weekend?
Go to the Speed Concert at Blue Ridge. Spend my 1k GC from Bayo. That's about it.

63) Who do you think will repost this?
Uhm... I dunno. Everyone's so damn busy these days.

64) Are you happy right now?
No. :(

65) Drunk dialer or texter?
Texter?

66) Are you hungry?
YES YES YES! I want fooooood! FEED ME!

67) Are you a forgiving person?
I think so.

68) Would you ever share a boyfriend with your best friend?
No. I just can't do it.

69) Have you lost a friend recently?
Not recently...but I've some failed friendships that I really wanted to work out. haaay. *sigh*

70) Are you talking to someone while doing this?
Nope. I'm actually multitasking. I'm ALT+TABBING from one window to the next. ANd I have our support laptop next to me where I'm running some screening tasks.Phew!Back to the laptop

72) What are you about to do right now?
ALT + TAB! I'll be in the office till 8! ahahah

This was brought to light by Ericka yesterday when we were catching up over coffee at the new Starbucks at the new Petron station near La Vista.

The title got me thinking. Hell Yeah! This is the time life's suppose to suck.
Imagine... you are fresh out of college, thrown out there into the 'real' world and forced to grow up (as if the transition into adulthood is just a walk in the park). Many graduates leave school with the idealistic and romantic goal of making the world a better place and finding a job they love to do. (oh good luck with that! haha)

Down down down....
Jobwise, you are still not sure what it is you want exactly. Maybe you do have some vague idea of the ultimate dream job, but you have no idea where to start in achieving it. There are also a million and one jobs out there and you have no idea which to choose from. (Hallur anxiety attack!) Either way, you begin your first 'real life job' at the bottom rung of the career ladder. You're at the bottom of the food chain.

Suddenly, that dream goal of making the world brighter and landing that dream job comes with a price. There eventually really is something to the size of that paycheck. Money is a factor. (Shut up if you think you can get to your dreams with out pocket fulls of cash. What planet are you from?) In gradeschool/highschool your allowance money was for Seventeen magazines, POP Cds, trendy shoes and concert tickets. College spending includes clothes, booze, gmiks, phones, out of town trips and the like. I read somewhere that ironically you feel more financially independent in school when someone else is paying for everything than when you graduate and need to borrow from your folks. Then upon landing that first job, the salary you thought sounded pretty darn good and sufficient is non existant. It quickly pulls a disappearing act before you even realize what hit you. Taxes, SSS, Phil Health... may natira pa ba? My younger brothers are way financially stable and richer than poor old me. And I'm the one who works. I can't even buy new shoes. :(

You feel so poor. So helpless. How depressing. Yet you can't do anything about it. For some they go job hopping trying to find that one job that would satisfy them for life and before you know it..they're 25, have had 10 jobs and are still living with their parents, and still have no clue in the world as of how to proceed.

Expectations
It's not the world in which our parents lived in anymore. A college education doesn't automatically guarantee the promises it use to. Qualifications have intensified. Everyone has a college degree. A masteral is not more often a must than an option. Growing up, we've always wanted a life better than what our parents gave us. (Not saying that wasn't better) Our generation was actually one of the most affluent generations ever. But to quote what one friend's that told her "No matter what you do.. you'll never be able to pay be back in full the amount I spend educating you, and keeping you alive all these years." It's hard to accept but it's true.

Metamorphosis?
They call this path we take as "Emerging Adulthood." It can also probably be called the lost years, a term made famous by Shakespeare's own history. From the time he left school to the time he married his wife there was this lull where no one has any idea what he did or was up to. It was then after these years that things started to shine for the famous Bard.

The quarter life
I was perusing over the famous "www.quarterlifecrisis.com" website and Abby Wilner, the site runner, explains "20-somethings who visit my Web site, they want nothing more than to figure everything out, move up in the world and eventually settle down, but external circumstances do not allow that to happen, and they are not properly equipped with the skills and resources to make that happen." Oh honey you're are so damn Friggin' right! Amen Sister Friend!

I don't know how to end this post actually. All I can say is, I'm smack in the middle of this hell hole for a while. I have a life plan. I have goals. I have my dreams. There are possible solutions out there that I'm definitely looking into and I know someday..somehow...i'm gonna get there. That doesn't go with out the pressures and challenges along the way though.

To all you 20 somethings.... hang in there... it's going to be one bumping ride.  Just keep pushing and don't quit. :)